Terms of Service

What this is

Are You a Zombie? is a self-reflection tool — a set of questions designed to help you see patterns in how you spend your energy across presence, pace, connection, visibility, margin, and momentum.

It is not therapy, medical advice, psychological diagnosis, professional counseling, or clinical assessment of any kind. It was created by a working parent and analytics professional, not a licensed clinician.

The results are based entirely on your self-reported responses and are intended to prompt reflection and conversation — not to prescribe action, diagnose conditions, or replace professional guidance of any kind.

The assessment

The assessment is free to take. You receive your pattern name, circle visualization, and one-sentence description at no cost.

The full results — including your detailed profile, shadow analysis, dimension deep-dives, reflection questions, and conversation guide — are available as a one-time purchase of $4.99 USD, processed through Stripe.

Refunds

Because the full results are delivered instantly as digital content, all sales are final. If you experience a technical issue that prevents you from viewing your results, contact us and we'll work with you to resolve it.

Your data

Your assessment responses are stored locally in your browser and are not sent to our servers. See our Privacy Policy for details.

Intellectual property

All content on this site — including the assessment questions, pattern descriptions, scoring methodology, conversation guides, and design — is the intellectual property of Brian Cariveau, doing business as Analytics Pitfalls & Principles. You're welcome to share your results and link to the site. Please don't reproduce the assessment content without permission.

Not clinical advice

This needs to be said clearly: the creator of this assessment is not a licensed therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or clinical professional of any kind. Brian Cariveau is a data and analytics leader and a parent who built a reflection tool based on his own experience and principles — not clinical training.

The Zombie Score is a self-reflection exercise. It does not diagnose mental health conditions. It does not treat anxiety, depression, burnout, or any other clinical condition. It does not replace therapy, counseling, or medical advice. The pattern names, descriptions, and insights are designed to prompt self-awareness and conversation — nothing more.

If you are experiencing mental health challenges, relationship crises, thoughts of self-harm, or any situation that feels beyond the scope of self-reflection, please reach out to a qualified professional. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available at 988 (call or text). The Crisis Text Line is available by texting HOME to 741741.

This tool is provided “as is” without warranties of any kind. We are not responsible for any decisions made based on your assessment results.

Contact

Questions? Contact Brian Cariveau at Analytics Pitfalls & Principles — areyouazombie.com.