She wanted to play Barbies.
I was on my phone.
Are you a
zombie?
Your kids can see it.
Your partner can see it.
Can you?
The Zombie Score is a free 4-minute work-life balance assessment. 18 questions, and a mirror for the patterns you can't see.
4 minutes · 18 questions · free · no wrong answers
Why this exists
She called me a zombie.
She was six.
She was right.
Not the brain-eating kind. The other kind — the one who's physically in the room but mentally somewhere else. The one who says “uh-huh” while scrolling. The one who's there but not there.
That word broke something open. Not because I was doing anything wrong — but because the right things can make you a zombie too. You start running for good reasons, and somewhere along the way the running becomes the reason.
This assessment is the mirror that came out of that moment. It won't tell you you're doing it wrong. It will show you the shape of your life right now — and ask whether that shape is the one you'd choose on purpose.
This isn't therapy. It isn't a diagnosis. It's 18 questions and a mirror — built by a dad, not a doctor. If you're navigating something that needs professional support, please reach out to someone qualified to help.
— Brian Cariveau
Read the full story →The three tensions
Three tensions.
No wrong answers.
The right things can make
you a zombie too.
Discover Your Pattern
Based on how you navigate these three tensions, you will discover one of nine patterns — each with its own gift, trade-off, and an experiment to try this week.
The Sprinter
You're not burned out from bad work. You're burned out from good work that never stops. The engine runs because you run it. The question is what happens when you don't.
The Phantom
You're there. Technically. Your body made it. But the people who love you most can feel the difference between your presence and your attention — and they're not getting both.
The Anchor
Everyone leans on you because you never move. That's your gift. That's also your weight. The people around you feel held — but who's asking how you're doing?
The Gardener
You're present, connected, and there's room to breathe. Life is good. The question nobody's asking you: is good enough keeping you from great?
The Captain
You see the whole board. The engine is running. You're present and the system works. Just make sure the people inside it feel like family — not crew.
this one was DadThe Lighthouse
You see everything clearly. You illuminate the room. People come to you when they're lost. The question is when you're going to stop watching from the rock and get in the boat.
this one's DadThe Navigator
You see the map, you're moving fast, and you've got room to adjust. Just make sure the people in your life aren't starting to feel like waypoints on a route you're already running.
The Explorer
Life is an adventure and you're fully in it. The energy is real. So is this: someone in your life is quietly doing the invisible work of maintaining everything you've started.
The Compass
Your tensions are balanced. That sounds like a win. The harder question — is it balance you chose, or balance that happened because you haven't committed deeply enough to anything to create a real lean?
Read about all nine patterns →
You'll see yourself in one of these. The assessment takes 4 minutes to tell you which one.
A mirror for the season you're in.
Knowing your pattern is the start. Your Quarter is where you write down what matters this season. The three tensions give you the lanes. The quarter gives you the deadline.
You are never done. The season keeps turning.
This quarter
Your Quarter
Put the phone down after dinner
Phone in the kitchen drawer by 7pm
Month 1: Did this maybe half the time. Better on weeks I wasn't traveling.
One family meeting per month
Actually sit down and ask: what's working?
Protect one unplanned afternoon per week
No activities. No errands. See what happens.
Month 1: Pulled it off twice. Felt weird. Good weird.
What I'm working on · How I'll know · Notes · Score
Included with the full profile.
Also worth reading
- The present-but-absent parent
You're in the room. They can tell you're not. What it looks like, why it happens to good parents, and three things to try this week.
- Am I a distracted parent?
Ten honest questions, no score. What your kid sees when your attention leaves, and two things that help more than a screen-time rule.
- How to be more present with your kids
Most advice assumes one problem. There are three. How to tell which kind of busy you are, and what works for each.
- Always the strong one
Everyone leans on you. Nobody asks how you're doing. How you got the job, what it costs, and three small things to try.
- Why do I start things but never finish?
It isn't laziness. Why the middle is where projects die, who ends up carrying what you started, and four things to try.
- Better, or just busier?
AI made everyone faster. Faster was never the problem. A question I keep asking at work, and what the speed-up does to all three tensions.
Common Questions
What is the Zombie Score assessment?+
The Zombie Score is a free 4-minute self-assessment with 18 questions that reveals your patterns across three life tensions: Presence vs Pace, Balcony vs Dance Floor, and Margin vs Momentum. It helps you see the invisible shape of how you spend your energy. There are no right answers.
Who is this assessment for?+
Anyone who suspects they might be too busy to notice what matters. Parents, professionals, ambitious people who are doing meaningful work but feel like the treadmill is running faster than they chose. Single, married, kids or no kids — the treadmill exists for all of us.
How long does the assessment take?+
About 4 minutes. 18 questions, one at a time. No account needed. You place yourself on a spectrum between two equally valid perspectives for each question.
Is the assessment free?+
Yes, the core assessment is completely free. You get your pattern, your shape, what your shape gives you, its trade-off, and a season question at no cost. Keeping your result so you can compare seasons later is free too. The full profile — the complete description, an experiment to try, reflection questions, a 10-question conversation guide, and Your Quarter — is a one-time $4.99 payment. Pay once and you are never asked again.
What do I get from the Zombie Score?+
You discover your pattern — one of nine types like The Sprinter, The Phantom, The Gardener, or The Anchor — based on how you navigate three fundamental tensions in life. The free results show your shape, your pattern, what it gives you, what it costs you, and a question to sit with this season. The full profile is the part you do something with: the complete description, The Speed-Up (what AI does to your shape), an experiment to try, five reflection questions, a 10-question conversation guide to use with your partner or a trusted friend, and Your Quarter — a place to write down what matters this season.
What is Your Quarter?+
Your Quarter is included with the full profile. You write down one thing to work on for the next 90 days — three at most — and how you will know it is working. You get a short email at day 30 and day 60 asking how it is going, add a note to yourself, and on the last day you score it honestly from 0 to 1. Then you retake the assessment and see how your shape moved. Nothing is pre-filled: the words are yours, and they stay private. A goal not on paper is just a dream. Your Quarter puts it on paper.
Is this a quiz I take once or an ongoing tool?+
Both. The assessment gives you your pattern right now — a Polaroid of this season. But seasons change. Keep each result and Your seasons lays your shapes over each other and names what moved — Lighthouse to Navigator, Presence to Pace — then asks whether you chose that move or it just happened. It keeps the date, your pattern and your shape, never your 18 answers. Your Quarter gives you something to work on between retakes. The philosophy is you are never done. The treadmill does not stop. But you get to choose the speed.
Does the Zombie Score have anything to say about AI?+
Yes, but deliberately not as part of your score. The three tensions the assessment measures existed long before AI and will outlast it, so none of the 18 questions ask about technology. The assessment ends with one extra question, called The Speed-Up, that is not scored: AI made everyone faster, but did it make you better or just busier? It does not change your pattern. The full profile explains how the speed-up specifically distorts your shape, because a Sprinter and a Lighthouse get pulled in very different directions by the same acceleration.
Is the Zombie Score a personality test?+
No. A personality test tells you who you are and implies it is fixed. The Zombie Score describes how you are living right now — a snapshot of this season, not a permanent type. Your pattern is expected to change as your circumstances change, which is why the assessment is built to be retaken.
Is this therapy or clinical advice?+
No. It is a reflection tool built by a parent and analytics professional, not a therapist, and it is not a diagnosis. If you are navigating something that needs professional support, please reach out to someone qualified to help.
The Zombie Score is a free online assessment for anyone struggling with work-life balance, feeling overwhelmed as a parent, or wondering if they are too busy to be present for the people who matter most. Unlike productivity tools or wellness quizzes, this assessment does not prescribe a solution. It shows you the shape of your life right now — where your energy goes across presence, pace, connection, visibility, margin, and momentum — and asks whether that shape is the one you would choose on purpose.
Then there's Your Quarter, which turns the assessment from a one-time quiz into an ongoing personal tool: one thing to work on for the next 90 days, how you'll know, a note to yourself each month, and an honest score at the end. Then retake the assessment to see how your pattern has shifted. Keep each result and Your seasons lays the shapes over each other and names what moved. The three tensions give you the lanes. The quarter gives you the deadline. Writing it down makes it real — a way to become a better version of yourself, one season at a time.
Created by Brian Cariveau — a working parent, analytics leader, author of The Auction Block, and founder of Analytics Pitfalls & Principles — the assessment was born when his six-year-old daughter called him a zombie while he was on his phone. That word became the foundation for a tool that helps driven, ambitious, well-intentioned people see the invisible patterns that keep them on a treadmill they never chose.
Whether you are a busy professional looking for balance, a parent feeling overwhelmed with kids and commitments, or anyone who suspects the treadmill is running faster than you intended — this 4-minute assessment is a starting point. Not a finish line. A checkpoint.